Know Thyself

21 June 2010
There is a story of a woman who lived in a remote village in the north of India with her son. She was very worried about her son because he had no self control, he was totally addicted to eating sugary foods and she was at a loss as to know what to do.

She had heard that Mohandas Gandhi was soon to be speaking a few villages away. Gandhi at this time was an international figure and the absolute pride of India, he had been given the new name Mahatma meaning big soul and all throughout the land he was revered as a truly great man.

She had heard of his tremendous humility, that meant he often endeavoured to give some of his time to all those who wished to have a private audience with him. She knew what she must do, she knew her son would listen him. So, they set off.

The journey was long but with each step she felt certain that she was getting closer to her solution. Two days later they arrived at the village in time to hear Gandhi speak to the crowd. Both her and her son were spell-bound and as soon as he had finished she got in line to speak to him and after 8 hours she finally got a private audience with Gandhi. She left her son outside and decided to speak to this great man alone. She had explained that she hoped he might be able to say or do something to help her son change his ways. Afterall he had got rid of the British without one violent action. Gandhi listened to her intently and then solemnly said I am back speaking in this same place again, one month from now. Bring your son then and I will speak with him. She excitedly explained “No Gandhi G…” (adding the G as a sign of great respect) …he is here”. Never the less Gandhi dismissed her asserting that she must do as he instructed. She was confused but did not dare to challenge him further.

For many of those steps back to her village she questioned his wisdom, she wanted to believe that there must have been some good reason but found she found it hard to understand. And certainly when she was making the journey back again a month later with each step she found her hope rising again but was also concerned that she would once again be disappointed or that he might ask something else of her that was beyond her. When she got there she was amazed to see so many more people there.  Soon she and her son were again mesmerised by his presence and his message of love, peace and truth. After he had spoken there was an even longer line but both she and her son waited patiently. When it was their turn she brought her son in with her and Gandhi immediately remembered her plight and so he stood up and rose up as largely as he could and placed both hands on her son’s shoulders and pronounced with a mighty conviction “Stop eating sugar” Her son seemed electrified and immediately started nodding rapidly in a crazed fashion, he had understood something important and was in an instant changed. The mother was of course very happy but at the same time a little confused. Something niggled and she was about to leave but couldn’t resist asking the question. “Why couldn’t you do that last time?” he smiled sweetly and said “because last month madam”  “yes” she enquired “ I was still eating sugar”. She knew he was telling her something very important but she wasn’t exactly sure what that was. She left very grateful but a little confused.
 
Gandhi knew the importance of congruence or what could be called total conviction. This taps into the power of confidence or charisma but is more than that. When you can utter words with a certainty that is born all the way through your core, where every fragment of your being knows that you are in truth, you have the power to move the minds of men, to move the hearts of nations and much more. Take a moment to imagine how that level of certainty could benefit you in your life. How might it help you to have that level of honesty with your self? Where you do everything that you say you are going to do; where your inner mind knows that you are who you say you are. That way you can begin overtime to trust yourself in everything that you do and say. Once you have created that truth and freedom for yourself you can take that power out into the world with great effect, but being honest with ourselves is not simply a choice. There are very powerful parts of our inner mind that work day in and day out to filter our experience of reality so that it is bearable for us.

Our early years were filled with so much confusion and doubt that we created ways of thinking and feeling that ‘managed’ our fears and enabled us to get on as best as we could. Most people are very unaware of how much fear they still carry around with themselves. Fear about life in general, survival, success, death, public speaking, real bills that are looming on the horizon, various imaginary bills that might never happen, humiliation, looking stupid, looking too clever, men afraid of women, women afraid of men. The reason we have politeness is so that we can all interact with eachother without noticing how much fear many of us are managing at any one time.
 
We generally manage these fears by ignoring them in any number of interesting ways. In order to protect us from fears that could otherwise swamp us our inner mind builds a picture of ourselves and the world that helps to make us feel ok. It is in the inner mind that our foundational beliefs about what we can earn, how we can live are what we are afraid of are stored and ideally processed and dealt with overtime. Without reflection or contemplation none of this is a choice. These parts of our minds that make us think we are ok are only trying to help. A long time ago we needed those defences but now as we grow and develop those defences hold in place limiting ideas about ourselves and others. These powerful beliefs are there to help us but more often than not they can in many ways limit us. The problem is these limitations, these imaginary concepts of ourselves and the world around us feel real, feel familiar, feel like life or truth. That which we do not know is by definition outside of our awareness, there fore how can we know what we are missing, how can we know what we are hiding from ourselves. How then can we be honest with ourselves? How then can we be honest with others?  Think about this. If we have ever known anyone that is deluded how can we ever trust ourselves again? Some might see this as a pessimistic or deterministic position that says we are without any power or control to affect change in our experience of life but that is not completely true.
 
If we are not in control of our awareness then there must be any number of things that are outside of our own control, because the forces that actually control us are beyond our awareness born into existence in the furnace of our infantile confusions. Yes, that is true but we do still have a responsibility. A responsibility to be actively in the process of getting to know our selves, actively involved in the examination of our life, in the study of our motivations, in the unravelling of our doubts and the dismantling of our fears. It is freeing our minds from these imaginations that enables us to find the kind of peace and power that Gandhi once commanded. Socrates said “ A life unexamined, is no life at all” We cannot ever truly be in control of our lives but we can be actively involved in the increased understanding of how best to experience our lives in the most positive way possible. This is not a switch, not a decision but instead a practice. Gandhi once said “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” And that man, as we know, spoke the truth.

So make yourself the object of your study. Know that you cannot truly know yourself. Trust that your intentions are not always to be trusted and explore your madness knowing full well that you are at least partly mad and you will find yourself living with much greater levels of sanity. It is when we think we are sane, sorted or finished with learning that our life is most likely to unravel. It is also worth realizing that with this attitude we have the foundation for all compassion and forgiveness regarding the madness of others. Like it has been said before “let he without sin cast the first stone”. Discover yourself and forgive the world, forgive the world and you find great power and ultimate peace.